Deaf girls never say no (continue)

As I went outside to meet my friends for routine social norms, I saw Marco walking with his hands in his pockets. He stopped walking abruptly and turned to me when he heard me calling his name. We chitchatted for several minutes before I asked him about the "deaf girls never say no" statement. He shifted his legs nervously but asked me if I could walk with him over to the Center. I went ahead with him.

Before he theorized, he pressed me to understand that was all he knew was from unreliable rumors and speculations. He hadn't the guts to ask his Deaf girlfriend about it either. Marco insinuated that his girlfriend is a suspicious person, he didn't dare to ask her. What he endowed was that when a hearing man asked a Deaf woman out for a date and she unquestionably will say "yes" (depending on his looks). Now, to switch the role, if a Deaf man asked a Deaf woman out for a date, he may receive the death-rattling "no". Maybe "yes", reckon on looks, personality, financial stability and all that. He theorized that a Deaf woman feels more titillated when asked by a hearing man than a Deaf man and considered that it was "cool" to be asked by them.

Before Macro presented me his theory, I had suspected that it was about sex. Why else would men like Matthew refuse to answer my question? But I learned one thing from Sociology classes; it's a impractical to assume. Ergo, I couldn't share my observations with you until now. Marco, although, appended that sex was part of it too. I had my own doubts. What I meant was that many Deaf women positively aren't as dumb as some men would think. I knew some hearing women who were dumber than Leory, my Maltese dog, who would bark unstoppably at bigger, meaner and killer dogs that could chew him out like an afternoon snack if I let him out.

As we arrived at the Center, we parted and he pledged to me that it was only speculation, not fact nor actual empirical information.

To be continue...

Deaf girls never say no

That was a hearing male classmate from my ASL class whom sneeringly claimed. Unmistakably, I plainly didn't know what that meant.

There were four hearing male classmates from my ASL class, standing in a huddle, holding coffee cups while chitchatting nearby Joseph's classroom. As in reference to my old post, it made me curious as of to what and why they took the course in ASL. We had a few free minutes so I asked them. It went like this--

I greeted them with a smile: "Buon giorno, guys"

All four gave me greetings and had introduced me to everyone. Matthew's a tall and muscular first-line rugby player. I recalled watching him play in the rugby games last year. He was the first one I asked, "Do you remember the last monday about the small numbers of hearing men in ASL classes overall in America?" The guys nodded. I continued, "It is for my curiosity, why are you taking lessons in ASL?"

Matthew chuckled dryly: "Babe, I am administered by, say, a disciplinary action as I had caused some disturbance in the hall before the school closed. Wonky (The Board) felt that I'm needed to be stimulated by cultural differences to deplore my ill-advised behavior or Wonky says so. They crammed the list in my face and I choose ASL."

"Oh", I responded speechlessly. Shifting my standing position, I held pointed at another guy, "Albert, what about you?".

Albert half-grinned, half-shyly mumbled, "It's for the credits." I gestured at other thin guy, "Darrick?". He thumbed at Albert and replied cheerfully, straightaway, "Same as Al".

I glanced to next fairly cute guy, Marco, who stood by chewing gum and observing me asking guys the questions. Before I could ask, he answered, "I've been seeing this deaf woman for some time now. I was advised to take a course in ASL to lessen our communication complications."

Three guys were stunned and talked all at once while I replied abruptly, "Wow, that's totally neat!". I noted to myself to check the milieu to observe how the guys would react to Marco. I caught Matthew winking at Marco and grinned slyly, "Was it because deaf girls never say no, my bud?"

Needlessly to say, I was taken aback by that errant statement. Marco gave him a brief glance and snorted at his remark. Matthew chortled. The other guys were at a loss. Perplexedly, I asked Matthew, "What's THAT all about?" As to avoid my question, Matthew checked his wristwatch and said with half-gaped, half-chuckled expression, "Oops, it's class time." and strided into the classroom hastily. Bolting into the classroom, I called after him but I was shushed and reminded by other classmates with the "no voice in the classroom" rule. Joseph, my ASL professor, was getting ready and there was nothing I could do about it.

I noted to myself to interrogate Matthew about it when class was over. Unintentionally, right after class was over, I was distracted by several women who had discussed about different ASL gestures in regional locations. By the time I remembered what I was supposed to do, Matthew and Marco were gone. Still perplexed, I threw a question in the discussion with the other women about it and none of them had any idea as to what Matthew insinuated. I, incidentally, hadn't the gut to ask Joseph about it either.


While on the "men" subject, there's a humorous discussion going on at my university blog regarding my party experience. There were more than 100 different freakish pick up lines (comments) within four hours my post was out. I'd paste a few freakish pick up lines in here but DeafRead didn't list my old post in spite of the partially ASL and Deaf topic, so I withdraw. BlogHer picks it up too.

Stefanie's cautionary observation and a tidbit

I saw Joseph, my ASL professor, at the cafe yesterday. I was supposed to join in with my friends in the other section but I joined him and chitchatted (basic ASL and PnP) with him for half an hour. When Joseph left for his class, I left for the other section to meet my friends who were still eating and chitchatted. After a few minutes, there was a out of the blue moment for me when my best friend, Stefanie had an up-front talk with me about the Deaf blogs she reads from DeafRead. As a best friend could, she was concerned about my desultory decision of getting involved in a Deaf community. Her cautionary observation had impact on me. I had a lot of thoughts about my decision.

Oh. Please check out my old post. I'd love to know more why so many hearing men aren't interested in learning ASL.

It's U.S. Open fever time. Andre Agassi, tennis superstar, won the first round! 3-1 against Andrei Pavel from Romania. By the way, I'm a tennis player and fan.

Two tips on how NOT to impress women

Deaf and hearing men, here are two tips on how NOT to impress women--

[1] Brag your ass off about how many women you've had sex with. Fill in your experience of hanging out with ex girlfriends, dates or one night stands. Share your grief-stricken tales about how "slutty" or "bitchy" the ex girlfriends or dates were.

Jean's pouting statement: No woman cares about your experience, nor your past history with women (except rape, sex harassment and abuse). It's true that I cannot speak for other women but I can speak for myself and my girl friends.

[2] Tell a woman forthrightly that she has such a perfect mouth for blowjob.

Jean's pouting statement: It's the best and easiest way to turn off women.

If someone wonders why I, out of the blue, made this post, it was because only inasmuch as it had happened to me at the gigantic "welcome to campus" party two nights ago. Oh man, there is nothing funnier or stupider than horny drunk young freshmen and sophomores with raging hormones.

Saheeeesssssh. This post will be posted or linked at BlogHer and my university blog (student account req.)

The latest news on the San Diego Deaf boy

I just heard the news on the radio. The suspect who allegedly assaulted a Deaf young boy is being currently tracked down and searched by the San Diego policemen and crime fighting organization. I hadn't caught the name of the organization. But there is one puzzling thing: they're chasing after only one suspect, not several suspects as the San Diego Deaf Hate Crime blog specified.

Update: Here's the offical news from FOX 6. My gracious thank to my classmate, Billy for finding the link for me whereas I'm an idiot in searching the news. He got a wet kiss for that! =)

Men, Where Art Thou?

This is quickly proving to be an unforgettable day. Only several minutes before 9:30 am for the ASL class, I was requested to stop by the OSAR (Office of Student Academic Records) to meet the clerk whether or not if they accepted my petition for EUL (Excess Unit Limit). For as I had registered the classes including the ASL class at the last minute, it totaled up to 21 units. There was a "red" flag on my admission status. Lady luck was on my side, they validated my petition and I arrived at ASL class hurriedly before it began.

I barely got in on time while my classmates were gathering around and sitting down. I hadn't considered the surrounding I was in. My attention was undividedly fastened on Joseph, my ASL professor in a sleek, handsome black suit (truly, he knows how to dress) and a tall 30s-something man stood nearby Joseph whom smiled and waved at us. Joseph pored over us with lipmouthing and gestured which I recognized. He was counting some of us in this class but I was unsure who he was counting on. Within a few seconds I recognized his gesturing he stopped counting and held four fingers with his right hand at the tall man. It was a "four" sign. The tall man gave Joseph a brief stare and nodded, and then he tightened his lips and shook his head timidly. As fast I could, I raised my left hand high for Joseph's attention. The tall man pinched Joseph's sleeve and gestured at me when Joseph fixed his eyes upon the tall man.

"Four what", I gestured at Joseph when he stared at me. The "what" sign I was taught by Joseph at the cafe last week. To people who don't know a bit about ASL, ASL has a different syntax and grammatical structure. That's as much as I knew. If someone wants to know about ASL, I'll pass you on to someone else who does. I'm still new to ASL. Back on topic, Joseph smiled but he shook his head and gestured "nothing". It really got on my nerves when Joseph signed like that. The realization struck me; I understood why Deaf people were annoyed by the hearing people who told them, "nothing" when asked. While aware of the possibility of lowering my grade, I had scrowled gently at Joseph and signed with a shaking of my head, "No, no, no" and then gestured, "four what" repetitively. Both men, Joseph and the tall man suddenly grinned at me which took me back by surprise.

Joseph picked up a temporary marker from his desk and wrote on the white board. He explained that for several years, they, ASL teachers and professors, had noticed a pattern in ASL classes. There is always a roughly small amount of hearing men in ASL classes compared to hearing women. All of my classmates exchanged our stares. That was when I initially acknowledged the surroundings in ASL class. There were 25 students in ASL class and there were only four men in it. All of the men wriggled uncomfortably on their chairs and grinned boyishly when most of us women gazed at them in wonder. Several of the women talked at once. Joseph took the floor and cut us off by waving his arms wildly. It was a cute moment. In my thoughts, I had pondered as to why men didn't enroll in ASL classes. Are they afraid? Or are they just too egoistical about it? Or are they feeling embarassed about signing visually in lieu using their mouths to communicate?

Any idea what's up with them? Any clues?

After we settled down, Joseph explained the rules which made some students groaned all at once. In my opinion, the rules aren't that bad but one rule was challenging: no voice in the classroom. Yikes! With the tall man's help, Joseph gave us a live demonstration of culturally Deaf gestures to another Deaf. The sight was extraordinary, breathtaking. I positively understood nothing but gaped at them in amazement. Too fast and too "fierce" for all of us. One of my classmate sat next to me was going to whisper in my ears to ask me if I understood but she was shushed by Joseph. We were asked if we understood what they were saying. While the class shook their heads I shyly signed "no" when asked. The room went silent when Joseph wrote on the white board, "A moment ago, you all were in Deaf people's shoes. Most of the time, Deaf people can't understand what you say when you all use voices in the front of them. That was how they perceived it." But, he gave us a warm smile and wrote again, "Don't feel bad about it. The important thing is: you all know and understand." Within a few minutes, the tall man wandered off out of the classroom while Joseph was teaching us the basic rules and various subjects about ASL.

In the full two hours, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment in the ASL class. When class was over, even with two hours, my thirst of ASL knowledge was hardly satisfied. All I can do is wait for Wednesday to come.

A short thought on classification

Thank you, Mark Drolsbaugh! I heartily agree with you on classification and ASL. ASL is undeniably, unquestionably a beautiful language.

As to referring to the "Other Communication Disorders" subject, lately, I have been thinking a bit about the classifications. Before, Deaf people suggested to me to abstain from using "hearing impaired" as in reference to Deaf people I erroneously designated them considering the milieu I grew up in. The culture, attitude and language I was exposed to, the same language and socioculturally attitudes I conveyed from. While it's not always a case in various occurrences, it had happened to me and my peers. But of course, it doesn't mean that their unchanging bigotry attitude are pardonable.

How can people comprehend or determine what they don't know, being unschooled about significant subjects? Considering the theory I threw in the air that they naively categorized the subjects into classifications whereby determined by their instimulated knowledge or narrowed understanding which led to being rammed down our throats. I'm not defending other hearing people but the only method I know of to make them understand Deaf and their culture by educating them insomuch as it does make a difference in multifarious situations. Just like it did to me. Understandably, while the "ideal" may look good on paper; in reality, the result may be inconclusive or unfavorable in sundry circumstances. Once they are distinguished, the choices they would have to constitute for themselves in pursuit to work with Deaf people as a "teammate". Or not.

In my mind, all I can think of when meeting a new Deaf face: "Give a hearing person a chance, I do beseech you."

What's new: The portrait and profile updated. I'll add a few more to my profile soon.

Aside from this post, I made a new post because I'm unsure how to make a comment in the blogger's comment section. I'm trying to "decipher" this puzzlement. On my laptop, the comment option just plainly doesn't exist.

File ASL under ... what?

I hadn't bothered to check the course descriptions, programs or departments in the catalog to identify which category American Sign Language was classified under until this morning. But the catalog was nowhere to be found. To find it, I cleaned up my stuffs; sorted out the humongous stack of papers that had accumulated on the side of my computer desk and the Albany coffee table. Underneath them all, I found the catalog. Stunningly, they categorized ASL under the "Speech and Hearing Sciences" section. Speech science? Hearing science? Ultimately, unmistakably, I am thoroughly new to ASL and Deaf culture; I was, indeterminately, unsure how to react to that.

After a few minutes of mulling it over, I explored the internet, dug into Gallaudet and NTID, exploring further through the Top 100 national universities list. Two "usual suspects":

Gallaudet: American Sign Language and Deaf Studies

NTID: ASL-English Interpretation and Special Certificates

I delved into the Top 100 national universites compiled by The Washingon Monthly. I searched Google and The Washington Monthly list popped up first. Only four out of the first ten universities in the Top 100 national universities provided ASL programs. Here are some interesting finds that I came upon:

Pennsylvania State University: Communication Sciences And
Disorders

Stanford University: Special Language
Program

University of California, San Diego: Linguistics Language
Program

Cornell University: Linguistics [under College of Arts and
Sciences]

I randomly searched Google and it came upon:

Goshen College: Modern and classical languages and literatures

Genuinely, truthfully, I fell in love with the description by Goshen College; Modern and classical languages and literatures and Gallaudet; American Sign Language and Deaf Studies but again, I'm a hearing person so what do I really know, I wondered.

Walk through the door into the new world

I got in!

I had never been that excited about taking any classes until the ASL Level One class where I barely got in. As to follow some members's suggestions, my employer granted me a LWP (Leave With Pay) day and after consulting with my guidance counselor, I was determined to take the course in American Sign Language to learn how to sign. Yesterday morning, arriving at the nearly vacant ASL Level One classroom (school starts next week), I met a deaf professor in a Hart Schaffner Marx suit who fastened his attention on the spread of papers on his desk. I was unsure how to get his attention. I bent down and waved in his face and it caught his attention. While I was astounded by his fairly young face, I managed to smile at him and he smiled back. I handed him a registration paper along with a note I wrote politely begging him to let me in since the classroom was crammed. He read my note and he wrote back that a student dropped out and there wasn't any problem for me to enroll in. I could barely restrain my excitement while he signed my papers.

Again, while we smiled to each other, we shook hands but I had a lot of questions on my mind. I didn't want to leave and eagerly inquired to him about ASL and deaf culture. Translucently, he could tell by the look on my face, I had a lot of questions to ask and he gestured towards the chair. I pulled the chair to sit down, and then swiftly wrote on the papers about many things I wanted to know about ASL and deaf culture. Surprisingly, he cheerfully answered every question including some stupid questions I threw at him. Funnily enough, I pictured the scenario in my mind; in a dark room, whereas I was dressed up like an FBI agent and "grilled" him while the hot and bright white spotlight was aligned and pinpointed down in his face. De facto, with an incredibly warm atmosphere around him, the way he displayed his attitude and answered my questions somehow struck me that he was Thes or alternatively, Thes was Joseph. Thes, a member at the forums I hold high respect for. "Joseph" was the deaf professor's pseudo-name since I hadn't asked him for permission to publicize his real name.

Back on topic, I still wasn't done with my questions. We lost all track of time and it was lunch time for Joseph. I was asked if I still had more questions and I had so I was invited to eat with him at the cafe. It was where and how "Revelation" fell upon me. After a silly quarrel we had about paying our lunches where I offered to pay for our lunches since he passed up his free time to answer my unceasing questions. Once he gave in, we found a good spot to sit and eat. I'd say about 20 minutes later, during which Joseph taught me some new basic signs as to answer my ASL question, I overheard some juvenile remarks from other hearing people near Joseph. It was a "Beauty and The Deaf and Dumb" remark. Now and then, there were a few more "Beast" jokes about Joseph and his deafness or ASL. While in these times, I had pondered about it, was that what many deaf people unknowlingly or knowingly had been dealing with the whole of their lives? Was that what they soaked up or put up with this kind of hogwash from some hearing people? Who were they to judge deaf people as "dumb"? Why was bigotry and ignorance the foremost darwinistic emotions they exhibited and thrived on? Why don't they understand something "alien" to their socioculturally "in-the-small-box" milieu? Distracted for a few seconds, I stared back directly in Joseph's eyes where he still gestured with a soft smile. It occurred to me that he sure didn't know what the f$#k was going on.

Given the consideration that I'm arguably a very rational person, the sharp red hot anger flared up in my chest. I held up my left hand to cut off Joseph and adjusted my position while sitting to the voices I had overheard. There were three men sitting 180 degree opposite from where we sat. I quietly gave them a short lecture and briefed them that Joseph had B.A. and M.A. degrees from the University of Arizona and plan to recieve a Ph.D degree one day. "Dumb" wasn't in his vocabulary in any way, nor any juvenile remarks they made. As I gave them hell, with a few gestures I pointed to Joseph. Thereon, their smirks vanished and one guy who made a few remarks held his hand high and waved in Joseph's direction, asking me to interpret what he said. It was an apology. Given the lack of ASL skill, I wasn't signing what he said but wrote it down. When it was all but done, before I adjusted my position back to Joseph, I gave them a cold smile. Jerks. Thought to myself, I matter-of-factly did what I never thought que sera sera.

Joseph tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders with a facial expression whereby I clearly understood; he didn't understand what was going on. I was going to gesture "nothing" (that's one of few ASL signs I know, ha!) but I stopped myself cold. I recalled what I read in the thread posted by a member whereby saying or gesturing "nothing" was considered to be rude to deaf people when inquired. Per our notes, I illuminated the remarks they made about him and the lecture I gave them. Unexpectedly, he grinned and wrote down, "You're walking in one shoe that deaf people walked in and you partially understood what deaf people feel." Without delay, he alluded to hearing people that I shouldn't be furious at their limited understanding owing to the hearing milieu they grew up in. Joseph also accentuated the fact that I made a conscientious choice by educating my peers in lieu unfurling my anger at them whereby it hadn't helped deaf people in the past. In another half hour of chitchat, we made an appointment to see him again, this Friday evening, to hash over some aspects of the socioculturally difference between hearing and deaf culture, and then we parted.

Given the full awareness of his warm characteristic smile and good-natured manner, the ASL Level One class will be an enjoyment for me this Fall. I cannot wait. That was my day.

On the part of this subject, Joseph connoted to check Deafread insomuch as they may examine what forums hadn't. He further recommended me to give weblog a try prior to adding a hearing "pro-ASL" voice to deaf-centered blogs. I agreed upon his engrossing idea and he helped me set up this blog.

Oh! One more thing, the chatter with Joseph confirmed almost everything what "NFG" and "Thes" from the forums dissertated over in my other thread. I wasn't saying that I don't believe what those articulated "usual suspects" said, I do! But it was out of curiosity whether or not if Joseph'd offer a different perspective regarding to friendship and relationship with deaf people and hearing to deaf approach etiquette, however he didn't. All the more reason there will be another sociocultural dialectic about hearing to deaf relationship this Friday evening whereas I find it enthralling to hash over. Concerning Deafread, there were a few blogging articles on hearing to deaf relationship but it seems none of them actually took on the challenging issue as a member's thread currently does.

Buona notte, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Introduction

Buon giorno, I'm a hearing exchange student from an european country staying in America and a wild girl with greater interests in ASL, Deaf culture, Interpersonal relationships and Sociology. I have only two and half years in studying English and am still learning.