Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Deaf girls never say no (continue)

As I went outside to meet my friends for routine social norms, I saw Marco walking with his hands in his pockets. He stopped walking abruptly and turned to me when he heard me calling his name. We chitchatted for several minutes before I asked him about the "deaf girls never say no" statement. He shifted his legs nervously but asked me if I could walk with him over to the Center. I went ahead with him.

Before he theorized, he pressed me to understand that was all he knew was from unreliable rumors and speculations. He hadn't the guts to ask his Deaf girlfriend about it either. Marco insinuated that his girlfriend is a suspicious person, he didn't dare to ask her. What he endowed was that when a hearing man asked a Deaf woman out for a date and she unquestionably will say "yes" (depending on his looks). Now, to switch the role, if a Deaf man asked a Deaf woman out for a date, he may receive the death-rattling "no". Maybe "yes", reckon on looks, personality, financial stability and all that. He theorized that a Deaf woman feels more titillated when asked by a hearing man than a Deaf man and considered that it was "cool" to be asked by them.

Before Macro presented me his theory, I had suspected that it was about sex. Why else would men like Matthew refuse to answer my question? But I learned one thing from Sociology classes; it's a impractical to assume. Ergo, I couldn't share my observations with you until now. Marco, although, appended that sex was part of it too. I had my own doubts. What I meant was that many Deaf women positively aren't as dumb as some men would think. I knew some hearing women who were dumber than Leory, my Maltese dog, who would bark unstoppably at bigger, meaner and killer dogs that could chew him out like an afternoon snack if I let him out.

As we arrived at the Center, we parted and he pledged to me that it was only speculation, not fact nor actual empirical information.

To be continue...

3 comments:

Awet M said...

Your blog does rest on a stereotype, and it would be hard to verify it through empirical facts. Statistics do not really reveal anything, so all we have to go with is evidential reasoning from first-hand experience.

The stereotype is not completely without truth - for the general belief comes from the facts of life: a deaf girl is often more likely to prefer to date a hearing guy than a deaf guy, likely because she may have felt she had to prove she is just as good as any other girl (hearing or otherwise). Also, this may come from a "princess syndrome," but this is a matter of another speculation!

It is not an ironclad state of affirs, but personal experience dictates as much. There are exceptions, but those exceptions are anomalies rather than the norm.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to disagree. I, and most of my female deaf friends, strongly prefer deaf men. May I suggest that being mainstreamed has something to do with preferring hearing men? Maybe, maybe not. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

gnarlydorkette said...

Anonymous:

I was mainstreamed all my life. I never prefer hearing guys (even tho I did date some Hearies in the past). I only got serious with Deaf guys. Why bother with miscommunication with hearies when I can have it all with guys from my Deaf community? I am married to a Deaf guy. Mainstreaming/Residental doesn't affect one's preference. it is their Deafhood mentality-- whether they are ashamed of their Deafness or they embrace it-- and the history of dating-- if they date Deaf men that result horrible, then of course they are inclined to date Hearies (and vice versa).

Mainstreaming got nothing to do with it.